Here is a secret.

Secrets. Some of them are cute as hell, like that kid telling his dad the supposed secret of how to eat Oreo so in turn he could have a little (or a lot - depends on your definition) sugar in him. Or that friend who would ask for sleepover parties on the pretense to accompany you on a thunderous night but secretly want to have more eye candy time and go googly eyes over your next door neighbor. Well those are somewhat cute. Then there are the "I'll honestly kill you if you  tell anyone" secrets. Dead pan expression included. Try avoid this one at all cost.

But sometimes, due to your bad feng shui, you found yourself in a situation where you are obligated to keep a secret. You may want to take no part of it, but it just presented itself to you then proceed to chain itself to your neck and swallow the key. Try as hard as you would but you can't pull yourself together enough to shove your arm down its throat to retrieve the bloody key. You can't get away and you're now stuck with it forever, unless you decided to yip. You yipped, and boom! That chain is yanked and you're now nothing but a decapitated head.

That may seem a little excessive, but the burden of holding on to your own secret is already crushing your bone and having to keep another person's secret can leave you in a state that I can only describe as the following: choking on a twinkie and the only person in the room is rocking out to "Call Me Maybe" oblivious to your situation.

So I decided to tell it all. The secrets I'm bearing. I wrote it down in a long list, slip it in one of the romance novel over on the National Library. I hope she (or the off chance it could be a he) find delights of the scandals I kept for people.

fin.